“It’s not you, it’s me. I just don’t think we can do this anymore.”
The words you’ve dreaded hearing: the sounds of your roommate breaking up with you.
Or wait, are they coming out of your mouth instead?
No matter which way they go, they’re hard to swallow. So, if you need to cut the cord before you sign your lease or move into that shiny new unit, we’ve got you covered. Here’s a basic, easy-to-use guide on how to break up with your roommate (before things get too serious).
Talk It Out
Let’s say you’ve figured out you need to live apart from day one. You’re just not getting along and it’s only going to get worse when you get your first utility bill and see how much water they’ve been using. It’s time to be grown ups and sit down to talk.
Tell your roommate what’s been bothering you and why it bothers you. Make it a conversation rather than a shouting match (trust us, the neighbors don’t want to hear it, too). Try to be civil, fair, and see it from their point of view. You’ve been waiting to live with your BFF for months, and now you’re disappointed. Just tell them why, and try to figure out the issue together.
Go Your Separate Ways When The Lease Is Up
But sometimes, reconciliation isn’t the answer; you may be better off to live in a studio apartment than to live with a roommate ever again. Explain your side of things and why you think you aren’t getting along. When you’ve said all you can say, just tell them, “I don’t think it would be good if we lived together next year.”
Which, yeah, it sucks to hear, but you need to be forward when it comes to where you spend your time, money, and nights.
If you’ve found a different roommate to live with already, just explain that. “You know I’ve been hanging out with [this person] a lot, and I think she/he/they and I would get along better.” Maybe you have similar interests that would mesh well, or you’re in the same major and it would make sense. “She and I are both education majors, so we can carpool to clinicals, and then I wouldn’t have to bug you for a ride all the time.”
Get It All Out
But if you’ve tried everything to be nice, and I mean EVERYTHING, then it might be time to put your foot down and say what’s really on your mind.
“I can’t stand the fact that you leave hair all over the place, you never clean out the fridge (or take the trash out), and you use SO MUCH dish soap it’s ridiculous! You’re a great friend, but I don’t live the same way you do, and that’s a problem. I think we should live apart next year.”
The best advice is to be a grown-up because you’re certainly not a teenager anymore. You and your roommate(s) are mature enough to work out your differences and mutually decide what works best.
If you can’t, then tell them how you feel and hope they understand. Don’t break up on bad terms—it’s just bad for everybody.
Good luck and happy apartment hunting!
